I have to admit, all this time I have been mocking the NRA. As it turns out they have been right all along-their logic unassailable. I have called them gun pornographers for their obtuse arguments that any sort of “reasonable” gun legislation amounts to eradicating the Second amendment. I am now all for conceal/carry everywhere, and that civil order and common etiquette not only should, but must be enforced if need be at the point of a gun. friends of ours just were married and this jerk cut in line for cake. If I’d had a gun, or better yet, if all the people who exchanged annoyed glances as the guy pushed in line out of place had weapons, we’d have sent in to the back of the line or to his maker.
Readers will recall, before my enlightenment yesterday following the bombing at the Boston Marathon, that some months back I sarcastically called for a Ninja amendment to the Constitution. That was in response the NRA calling for an armed guard in every one of America’s 130,000 schools, which I incorrectly characterized as absurd. The Ninja amendemnt would mandate an actual Ninja to schools, who could dispense an assailant silently, popping out from a locker, a waste bin or the ceiling.
I was just being a punk, missing some of the layered beauty of the NRA’s offer. It wasn’t simply about protecting our children, but the NRA was offering a whole new world. Taking in account sick and vacation days, longer school shifts, that could quickly amount to a half million armed posse protecting our schools. As schools close due to extreme budget constraints, these paid guards would also maintain order so that classes doubling and tripling in size do not overwhelm the diminishing number of teachers.
Two weeks ago an ammunition clip was found on a bus, highlighting the vulnerability of the nation’s half million strong school bus fleet. There is another job opportunity, albeit part time. Still, the brilliance of the NRA’s position leads as well to at least a million jobs being created. And that is just the beginning. We should then begin thinking of shopping malls, churches, restaraunts and everywhere more than two or more people gather. Guns are indeed the answer.
But there is one critical bit of logic dispensed by the NRA that I missed. Watching the terrible and shocking images from Boston yesterday it was as if a light went on inside me. I smiled at the simple brilliance of the NRA’s position, and blushed with shame for my own short-sighted previous position. While I spend quite alot of time on Chicago’s south side working with a homeless group, I have taken an interest in the violence there. The NRA argued that Chicago has the toughest gun laws in the country, and violence continues unabated. I foolishly argued for tougher oversight on the gun shops and shows that ring the outskirts of Chicago, citing the facts that the Chicago Police identified fully 70 % of weapons used in gun crimes as being purchased legally and given to gang members. One Federal firearms license holder sold more than 600 guns to Chicago street gangs. I also pointed out that gun laws IN Chicago would only have impact against looser laws OUTside Chicago only if the city was surrounded by a giant wall. Boy, was I wrong. Yesterday’s tragedy confirmed that.
The beauty of logic-true logic-is that it is unassailable and works in all situations. Gun laws do not stop killers from getting and using guns, right? If we extend that logic, there are laws against bombs in the United States, but it did not stop the bombing yesterday. More Bomb laws will not stop future bombers. And I will go a step further. Listening to Glenn Beck, the NRA and other Second amandment patriots, we have guns to let the government know we will stand against them when they become tryannical, and will refresh the tree of liberty with the blood of heroes as Jefferson described at the founding of our great nation. Let’s not mince words any longer. What they are describing is nothing short of an arms race between the true patriots and the government. Obviously, and logically, any imbalance opens the door to tryanny and oppression by the government. If that is the case, the Second amendment falls painfully and dangerously short.
We must expand the Second amaendment to include tanks, jets, bazookas and bombs. Bomb laws obviously do not work, as became clear yesterday. If patriotic god-fearing people are prevented from having bombs, only criminals and terrorists will have bombs. Like that guy cutting in line possibly facing a cake-line of gun-totting wedding goers, maybe if the terrorist yesterday thought that citizens would show up with bombs at his house, he might think twice. Thank you NRA. Consider me among the converted. My registration is in the mail.
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