A few things have been bugging me lately. See if you can relate…
People who congregate in the middle of busy sidewalks. I work in a part of the city where tourists abound. It’s understood that they are out of their normal element, but for those fully initiated into the pace and purpose of downtown life, please pull your head out of your ass, or loosen your belt enough to see from your bellybutton enough that these sidewalks are frantic at best, and a hair’s breadth from complete chaos. Don’t walk out of your hotel with colleagues, all towing luggage and convene a conference in the middle of the damned sidewalk. Be it known, I am not stepping out into traffic, but going straight up the middle. And while I’m at it, love that you feel the need to proclaim loudly in this ad hoc meeting that you are the biggest thing in widget accounting, or heel support marketing. Expecting someone will overhear and beg you for an autograph, relate their brush with your greatness to friends and family, or throw themselves passionately into your arms?
And what is with people who have to shake the kernels of popcorn at the bottom of their paper tub at the movies. News flash, movies already come with a soundtrack, so your pop and shake rhythm section, not so necessary. So what is the deal anyway? Meds not working on that latent anxiety, or are you panning for gold down there? Feel the need to shake something? Perhaps try grasping your head with both hands and shaking some sense into it.
People do not “go missing.” No one “went missing.” This is one sort of illiterate affectation one numb-headed TV reporter spewed, and now they all do, even getting us to repeat those ridiculous words. A person who is missing to the rest of us, knows where he or she is. You are either missing or your not. Next time someone utters the phrase, “they went missing,” reply, “perhaps they went to the same place your brain went to!”
And finally, this whole deal with the so-called Dream Act, and Obama’s supposed end runaround an intransigent Republican-dominated Congress underscores the Right’s irresponsibility in making humane decisions. People cannot be illegal. People may do illegal things, but they are not illegal. And a child, frightened, trusting fully in parents who they hope will do anything to give them a better, safer, healthier life is not committing an illegal act by crossing a border with their family. They are innocent, and they do not suddenly become guilty by virtue of growing up-like a ripening fruit. When I was young it was still common to call children born out of wedlock, illegitimate. Wow, you are born, not a person, not an individual, but illegitimate?