Quick thought today as I was passing through a shopping mall parking lot. Really, that thought has been there since the Christmas Consumer insanity began on “Black” Friday. That is, if all the idiots are now gathered at mall parking lots-6 cars waiting for a single space, pensive faceoffs at those confusing four-way stop signs- is the rest of the nation’s thoroughfares fundamentally less stupid?
It would stand to reason that if the dumbest of drivers are evenly distributed throughout the nation the rest of the year, that for the month long season of material worship around the holidays the rest of the world would be, by definition, less dumb.
Considering this, shouldn’t insurance rates go down for all those steering clear of the shopping malls, and conversely increase for those who can’t seem to find their way out of the mall for a month?
I’m thinking that if aliens from another galaxy wanted to capture humanity without firing a shot, they would simply have to disguise their ship as a giant saucer-shaped mall with signs reading 50 to 75% off, lower the ramps and let the parade begin. All I know is that once I was clear of the mall today I drew up next to smart looking gent at a light. We nodded and shared a knowing look before flipping each other off. Oh, how I love the holidays.