Shopping Mall from Hell…and the rest of us!

Quick thought today as I was passing through a shopping mall parking lot. Really, that thought has been there since the Christmas Consumer insanity began on “Black” Friday. That is, if all the idiots are now gathered at mall parking lots-6 cars waiting for a single space, pensive faceoffs at those confusing four-way stop signs- is the rest of the nation’s thoroughfares fundamentally less stupid?

It would stand to reason that if the dumbest of drivers  are evenly distributed throughout the nation the rest of the year, that for the month long season of material worship around the holidays the rest of the world would be, by definition, less dumb.

Considering this, shouldn’t insurance rates go down for all those steering clear of the shopping malls, and conversely increase for those who can’t seem to find their way out of the mall for  a month? 

I’m thinking that if aliens from another galaxy wanted to capture humanity without firing a shot, they would simply have to disguise their ship as a giant saucer-shaped mall with signs reading 50 to 75% off, lower the ramps and let the parade begin. All I know is that once I was clear of the mall today I drew up next to smart looking gent at a light. We nodded and shared a knowing look before flipping each other off. Oh, how I love the holidays.

About 900poundgorilla

W.C. Turck is a Chicago playwright and the author of four widely acclaimed books.His latest is "The Last Man," a prophetic novel of a world ruled by a single corporation. His first novel, "Broken: One Soldier's Unexpected Journey Home," was reccommended by the National Association of Mental Health Institutes. His 2009 Memoir, "Everything for Love" chronicled the genocide in Bosnia and the siege of Sarajevo. His third book "Burn Down the Sky" is published exclusively on Amazon Kindle. It was in Sarajevo at the height of the siege where he met and married his wife, writer and Artist Ana Turck. FOX NEWS, ABC, CBS News, the Chicago Tribune and The Joliet Herald covered their reunion after the war. He helped organized relief into Rwanda during the 1994 genocide. Turck has been a guest on WMAQ-TV, WLS in Chicago, WCPT, WBBM radio, National Public Radio, Best Of the Left and the Thom Hartmann show. He has spoken frequently on Human Rights, Genocide and Nationalism. In 2011, his play in support of the Occupy Movement, "Occupy My Heart-a revolutionary Christmas Carol" recieved national media attention and filled theaters to capacity across Chicago. He remains an activist to the cause of human rights and international peace. View all posts by 900poundgorilla

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