Seriously. Both sides are using these cute little amphibians in a cruel analogy meant to demonize each others insidious ideologies. And it’s got to stop before some crazy whack-job on one or both sides commits a terrible act of frog-abuse. Dear god, can we back off the rhetoric that only encourages violence against our pond-dwelling friends? When does it end? When Kermit is floating face down in a bubbling cauldron? Doesn’t anyone think of the tadpoles?
You’ve heard it. You’ve heard the whole, put a frog in boiling water and he’ll jump right out, dirge. Why would anyone even think of something that sick and twisted? Even worse, put a frog in cool water and turn the heat up slowly…Sounds like something Dick Cheney would advocate on some black prison lillipad.
And its always frogs. Why, because their dumb? That sort of broad generalization sounds a bit to me like, well, Amphipianism. Aside from just assuming that all frogs like water. You probably just assume that all of them live in swamps, right? I think that says far more about you than frogs. What about tree frogs, or toads? Seems dangerous and bigoted to paint all frogs with the same brush.
But why frogs? Because with those little forearms they can’t fight back very well? No teeth to bite, just that annoying sticky tongue?, or because their legs are delicious fried with a bit of garlic butter? No one ever says, drop a raccoon in water, or a gibbon or a gila monster. They wouln’t take that crap!
Maybe frogs are just too nice for their own good. Pitted against mean Dems and Republicans, easily 140 times their size, who have the advantage of knowing how to work a stove, the frogs just don’t stand a chance.
Certainly some sort of legislation is needed for those tempted to use sauce pans for misbegotten purposes. Should everyone simply be allowed to weild these as a weapon in the proximity of our cold-blooded little friends? Maybe a 10 day waiting list to purchase pans to allow the anti-frog sentiments to dissipate? Or perhaps no sauce and simmer pans within a 1000 yards of a pond or leafy-dewey garden. Do I even need to mention the horrible images evoked by the mention of a double boiler?
I say that if Progressives and Conservatives can’t agree to protect even a little frog in boiling water, if they are that mean and cold-hearted what chance do the rest of us have? So I am calling for a Constitutional convention for an Ammendment to protect the Right’s of frogs. The least among us, right? What would Jesus do? Is anyone thinking of the tadpoles?